Gender: high-testosterone male
Sexual Preference: yes
Hair: slicked back, highly gelled
Teeth: possibly one is gold or has a diamond in it
Motto: "We can't really talk about this here"
Percentage in Hermes Captivity: 5%
Likelihood of Birkin Purchase: absolutely!
Previous Job: "waste management," broker, maître d'
The Lowdown: this employee has it all figured out and is essentially running his own business. There is no need to even bother with "the formula"; it's as simple as sending some money (aka payola) to this person's home
Approach: if offered a business card with a home or cell phone number written on the back, then you that he is on the take.