Saturday, July 26, 2014

Here's to the Wankers Who Write


Here's to the Wankers who Yelp --
Everybody gag.
Lounging in their high minds
And thinking on brunch
For their own behalf.
Off to the Pig,
Then off to Jimmys,
Claiming they're best.
And looking grim,
'Cause after sitting
Just chewing on fat.
Does anyone still chew fat?
I'll drink to that....

Yes here's to the Jerks who can’t write-
Aren't they a mess?
Rushing to their restaurants
for blueberry tarts
And passing lots of gas.
Another long exhausting whine,
Another useless holler,
A ditzy host, a doting gay,
And all those dingbat waiters!
I'll drink to that.
And one for Mahler!

And here's to the Wankers who write--
Aren't they too much?
Keeping close their iPhones and posting reviews
Just to have a life,
They’re out of touch.
The ones who make their own rules,
And  make themselves out as fools,
Too busy to know that they're tools.
They’re awful as phlegm...
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to them!

And here's to the Trippers who Advise--
Aren't they the best?
When they go to type,
It's a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.
Another chance to disapprove,
Another misspelled zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.
I'll drink to that.

So here's to the internet pros--
Everybody tries.
Try to read their prose,
And you'll see what they know:
Lets just hope they die....

A toast to that lame-headed bunch,
The Wankers who bitch about brunch.
Let's hear it for the ass-wipes who lunch-
Everybody writes!
Writes! Writes! Writes! Writes! Writes!....

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Hermes Names New Women's Creative Director: Nadège Vanhee-Cybulski

Nadège Vanhee-Cybulski Named Artistic Director of Hermès: First Thoughts

So all the rumors were right, and a mere three days after announcing Christophe Lemaire was leaving Hermès to concentrate on his own line, Axel Dumas, the brand’s chief executive, has crowned his replacement: Nadège Vanhee-Cybulski, the 36-year-old current design director of the Row. She will start her new job just after the coming spring women’s show season.
This is interesting on two fronts: first, because of what it indicates about Mr. Dumas’s intentions toward women’s wear, and second, because it reflects a more general employment trend in the industry.
It seems pretty clear that in choosing Ms. Vanhee-Cybulski, Mr. Dumas is sending the message that he is committed to keeping his apparel line at the highest, most discrete end of the luxury market, as opposed to, say, moving toward a more buzzy, Instagram-oriented, sexy-livestream positioning.
Ms. Vanhee-Cybulski, after all, has perhaps the most impeccable track record of any designer when it comes to experience in understated-yet-ultra-high fashion: She began her career at Maison Martin Margiela (Mr. Margiela having been, probably not coincidentally, artistic director of Hermès women’s wear from 1997-2003); worked with Phoebe Philo at that current temple of minimalism, Céline, from 2008 to 2011; and then joined the Row, where she has been instrumental in crafting its aesthetic of ageless style in ultra-lush fabrics.
In other words: craft over costume. In addition, she’s French, which may sound ridiculously obvious as a factor, but given Hermès’s positioning as the quintessential French luxury house, and given the recent push for “Made in France” on the part of the French government, it adds a nice dimension to the narrative.
The quickness of the designer turnaround also suggests that Mr. Dumas had the change in mind from the get-go — it’s not uncommon for new chief executives (he took over from the former Hermès chief, Patrick Thomas, in February) to want to put their stamps on brands with new designers — as does his statement on the appointment: “Her talent and her creative track record will be great assets in the continued development of women’s ready-to-wear. She will devote herself full time to our house.” The key part being the last part.
Mr. Lemaire continued to design his own namesake line while at Hermès, and I guess they weren’t comfortable with that any more. It’s worth noting, because there is a growing trend in fashion to return to the days of yore (i.e., the days of John Galliano at Dior and his own brand Galliano) when designers did two brands in tandem: Alexander Wang now does his brand and Balenciaga; Jonathan Anderson does J.W. Anderson and Loewe; Tomas Maier does Tomas Maier and Bottega Veneta; Raf Simons does Dior and Raf Simons.
But I guess Hermès is not convinced.
Where this does echo a broader industry trend, however, is in choosing a relatively unknown name, at least outside the fashion world, to helm the house, as opposed to poaching someone else’s star. It is in line with the appointment of Julie de Libran, Marc Jacobs’s longtime No. 2 at Louis Vuitton, as creative director of Sonia Rykiel, for example.
And it is not unlike the current move toward corporate continuity apparent at Tiffany, where Frederic Cumenal, Tiffany’s president, is set to take over from Michael Kowalski, the current chief executive, when Mr. Kowalski retires next year; Calvin Klein, where Steve Shiffman, president and chief commercial officer, is set to take over from Tom Murry, now chief executive, next January; and Coach, where Victor Luis, the former president, took the C.E.O. reins from Lew Frankfort in January.
Grow your own stars! What a concept.
Also, just as an aside: Is it sheer coincidence that Hermès chose to make this announcement on the same day its rival, LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton — with whom it has been embroiled in a dispute since LVMH bought 23 percent of the Hermès shares last year — is due to release its results for the first half of the year? Possibly.
But in doing so, Hermès did make itself the lead of the fashion news cycle. Given the strategic intelligence demonstrated by Ms. Vanhee-Cybulski’s appointment, I wonder…..


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Hermes And Christophe Lemaire Part Ways After Four Years

HERMES's artistic director of womenswear, Christophe Lemaire, has left the house. The designer, who took the creative helm in 2010 following Jean Paul Gaultier's departure, will show his final collection for spring/summer 2015 during Paris Fashion Week in October.
"Working for Hermès has been a great pleasure: a profoundly enriching experience on both a human and professional level," Lemaire said today. "I am proud of what we have built together. My own label is growing in an important way and I now really want and need to dedicate myself to it fully."
Unlike the swift transition that followed Gaultier's departure (Lemaire was named simultaneously) the lack of any replacement is sure to lead to industry speculation. Whether an unknown but trusted member of the team or big-name designer will be installed remains to be seen, for now Hermès is simply wishing Lemaire well.
"I am very grateful to Christophe for the passion with which he has addressed and enriched the expression of our house in women's ready-to-wear," Axel Dumas, Hermès CEO, added. "Under his artistic direction the métier has renewed its aesthetic and produced very satisfactory financial results. I wish him the greatest success with his own label which is so close to his heart".

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Twilly's & Scarves Wrapped Around Handles: Tacky and Childish

This (not so) new trend is the ultimate in tacky.  Does anyone honestly think that Grace Kelly or Jane Birkin would ever wrap the handles of their bags? Not in your lifetime.
And what's with hanging all this childish garbage all over the bag? Since when do four year-old's own a $10,000 handbag? When did these bags become toys? Seems like a gimmick for Hermes (and other luxury goods companies) to sell wildly over-priced silliness.

(photos courtesy of the Purse Forum)


NBC-TV/Today Show
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May 18, 2008
Bag Man