Hermes Store Employee Roster - Part 3 of 6

The Grandmother

• Gender: Female

• Sexual Preference: not these days

• Age: 60+

• Hair: frosted, gray or white, roller-set

• Teeth: yes

• Motto: "Aren't you adorable?"

• Percentage in Hermes Captivity: 15-20% (wish they would breed more)

• Likelihood of Birkin Purchase: very high

• Previous Job: nurturer, cookie maker, boo-boo kisser

• The Lowdown: this woman does not need the job. Her husband recently passed away so she likes getting out of the house and being paid to play with pretty things all day. Secretly hates the Farmer, although would never verbalize this feeling even when talking to herself. After several years still has yet to realize the Incurable Romantic is gay and keeps trying to set him up with her granddaughter and/or niece

• Approach: approach without fear. Think of this woman as your grandmother for one hour. Really, it's that good!