The Incurable Romantic
Sexual Preference: queer as a three-dollar bill
Hair: very Vidal Sassoon
Teeth: highway reflective strip white
Motto: "Appearance is everything"
Percentage in Hermès Captivity: 10-15%
Likelihood of Birkin Purchase: almost 100%
Previous Job: Gucci
The Lowdown: this employee outwardly pretends to enjoy his job but is really just hoping to meet Mr. Right (a knight in a shining Hermès croc bomber jacket) and be saved from salesperson serfdom forever
Male Approach: flirtatious without blowing kisses, create false sense of dating potential. Flash croc agenda book (more subtle than flashing black Amex card) early in encounter to activate his innate gold-digging instincts. In case of extreme desperation (yours, not his) bait him with promise of after-work martinis at local Grand Hotel.
Female approach: flirt a little too, but better off to compliment his acute sense of style sense, and talk about some hot guy in the store. Also insinuate you have a rich gay cousin you can set him up with.