Here's to the Wankers Who Write

THE WANKERS WHO WRITE

Here's to the Wankers who Yelp --
Everybody gag.
Lounging in their high minds
And thinking on brunch
For their own behalf.
Off to the Pig,
Then off to Jimmys,
Claiming they're best.
And looking grim,
'Cause after sitting
Just chewing on fat.
Does anyone still chew fat?
I'll drink to that....

Yes here's to the Jerks who can’t write-
Aren't they a mess?
Rushing to their restaurants
for blueberry tarts
And passing lots of gas.
Another long exhausting whine,
Another useless holler,
A ditzy host, a doting gay,
And all those dingbat waiters!
I'll drink to that.
And one for Mahler!

And here's to the Wankers who write--
Aren't they too much?
Keeping close their iPhones and posting reviews
Just to have a life,
They’re out of touch.
The ones who make their own rules,
And  make themselves out as fools,
Too busy to know that they're tools.
They’re awful as phlegm...
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to them!

And here's to the Trippers who Advise--
Aren't they the best?
When they go to type,
It's a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.
Another chance to disapprove,
Another misspelled zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
I'll drink to that.

So here's to the internet pros--
Everybody tries.
Try to read their prose,
And you'll see what they know:
Lets just hope they die....

A toast to that lame-headed bunch,
The Wankers who bitch about brunch.
Let's hear it for the ass-wipes who lunch-
Everybody writes!
Writes! Writes! Writes! Writes! Writes!....